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unsaid.

the sweetest thing

11/22/09 01:26 am - with loving hearts and joyous song

it's amazing how in a few days (kinda besides bio last paper after 10days), i can officially say that I SURVIVE THE A'S!!!
pretty funny cause i suddenly remembered the time when me and liyana were hanging out with calvin and jamie at kap, and we were just talking about the coming a's that was a few months away. and before I knew it, it's almost ending!

just looking back, it's been a truely blessed journey. many lessons learnt, and so much faith that I have to place. After everything, all I can say God's a faithful God and whatever I get, blessed be his name :)

i miss dancing so so so much. me and liyana were just jubilated that we could start choreographing for gradnight in 2 days!!!! HOHO

anws I'm really thankful that God send me people to give me the encouragement I need. Just thinking back about the secret prayer meetings before each paper, praying with underground, hanging out with my usual mugging pals, having a fun time at jon's house with priscy and rah spying on guys and botak jones!, and our group prayers in church and lots of pigging out, msgs from my dear mg peeps, lots of stressing, lots of emo talks, lots of "after a's what we should do" stuff. OMG i hate to say this, but i'm going to miss those times, besides the mugging itself

anws picturesss!!! haven't been uploading for uberrrr long HAHA



PARADISCO GIRLS! peace outttttttttttttttttt

10/6/09 03:15 pm - single ladies!

 


ALL MY SINGLE LADIES OUT THERE! if you are bored, here's the song for you to listen. it's a freaking cool classy jazzy version of "Single Ladies" by Pomplamoose. check it out!

 

9/20/09 12:06 am


so happy! i chanced upon these two amazing christian singer guys. xD super duper awesome
presenting "chris and conrad"




9/5/09 11:29 pm - untitled hymn

It's been a really long time since i blog. decided to cut myself away from my livejournal and msn. but somehow i realised if i don't jott down about my life, i'm afraid to lose those good memories which i held this long. they're like footprints i guess.

funny thing that i actually had a nervous breakdown this week, when it was my first day of prelims. xP but i wasn't nervous but i cried and laughed at the same time. mum thought i was crazy wanted to send to hospital haha. but it was funny because before i broke down, i wanted to calm myself down so I played my dad's cd, and went to my favourite song on the playlist. It's called "Untitled Hymn" by Chris Rice. It's the most beautiful song ever written. like seriously. it talks about our whole life, yet we realised that every point in life we always turn back to one thing and that is Jesus.

so i just had to post the lyrics out to remind who ever's out there that there's someone out there, and we're not alone after all :)




Weak and wounded sinner,
Lost and left to die,
O, raise your head for Love is passing by,

Come to Jesus,
Come to Jesus,
Come to Jesus and live,

Now your burden's lifted,
And carried far away,
And precious blood has washed away the stain... so

Sing to Jesus ,
Sing to Jesus ,
Sing to Jesus and live,

And like a newborn baby,
Don't be afraid to crawl,
And remember when you walk sometimes we fall... so

Fall on Jesus,
Fall on Jesus,
Fall on Jesus and live,

Sometimes the way is lonely,
And steep and filled with pain,
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain... then

Cry to Jesus,
Cry to Jesus,
Cry to Jesus and live,

O, and when the love splills over,
And music fills the night,
And when you can't contain you joy inside... then

Dance for Jesus,
Dance for Jesus,
Dance for Jesus and live,

And with your final heartbeat,
Kiss the world goodbye,
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side... and

Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus and live,

Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus and live,

3/1/09 11:23 am - My God is mighty to save!

haven't been jotting down my thoughts for quite a long time and during this month, it has been pretty rough for me, in terms of tiredness. I have been both physically and mentally tired, as well as alottt of time management, coping with fluctuations of tests and preparing for danceworks and other activities along the way. but during this month God has really shown me to rejoyce in whatever things I was going through. Especially Philippines was a great chapter that motivated me throughout the whole month. =)

many things to thank God for but mainly:

1) Thank God for my family: the love and concern my parents showered upon me, though they knew I was stressed up and all my moodwings here and there. my sis, although she's not here by my side, but I can feel her spirit with me, and encouraging me to press on. my bro, I was really really happy when I saw his birthday msg :)

2) Thank God for my friends (mg friends:i believe I can see most of them being my friends even when we grow old with grey balding hair and wearing denches, nj friends: situations that allowed me to discern who are my true friends and the ones that I can forsee a growth in friendship even after we graduate from jc, church friends:  where they have been great sisters and brothers in christ)

3) Thank God for undergrounders: I really see an ignite passion in wanting to come together to praise the Lord and share and encourage each other despite our life situations at present. I believe God has a direction that we wants us to move forward towards and to make our years in nj, our best years.

4) Thank God for being there for me 24/7: I really thank God for the slight improvements in my tests, cause it really gave me hope that there's still room for improvement esp when last year was a demoralising year for me, but i felt for this year, God has drawn me closer to Him and to really trust him with my future. To understand that although there will be times where he will close some doors on me and it may be things that I really wanted in life, but to know that He has better plans for me.

This year is really a year of change, a year of trust and year of faith. Although life is unpredictable, yet being part of God's story has allowed me to keep moving forward and to have faith in the midst of the darkest storms in life. =)



Hosanna in the highest! :)))

Current Music: One desire by Hillsongs
Current Mood: cheerful

1/26/09 11:12 pm - gong xi fa cai!

in kl now! :)

last day, but i still wanted to visit more of seremban xP but i'm glad I visited terminal shopping mall, and met avril today! :D
shallupdate tmr when i'm back in singapore!

can't wait to get my fish back from hui ting, ALIVE!

Current Mood: content

1/17/09 12:31 am - sing a sad song and make it better



metamorphosis : a process of transformation; changing from one form to another

Change is a word that scares me although I can't exactly define the fear that is hidden in its meaning. Although I have constantly been meeting face to face with the word 'change' in my life, but yet it is difficult to accept 'change', the metamorphosis of oneself. Change could bring about detriments or benefits, both complementing each other in different situations. This year is probably the most unexpected ride of my life, that somehow I can forsee many ups and downs, satisfactions and dissapointments. I could be a totally different person by the end of this year, and it could be either for the better or for the worse. But I'm just gonna suck this in, and whatever it is, I pray the Lord will break me not just each year, but everyday, so that I can adapt to whatever changes in my life right now. I'm still trying very very hard to get used to everything, yet it gets so frustrating when I can't do much about the situation.

Yesterday, was the most powerful quiet time I ever had with God. As I was doing the daily devotions that they handed out, I was asked to pray for 10 minutes for God to change me be it my attitude towards certain things and make decisions that pleased God. For me, that 10 minutes was the best sharing time I had with God, it was the first time I felt I was experiencing God dring my qt ever since ages ago. As I was praying I was reminded about what Avril was sharing, that if smth does not include God in the equation I should be prepared to let go and surrender it, because in life, God will open and close doors, but all in all He has a better plan in every single one of our lives.

to anyone who reads this post, I encourage you to read Phillipines 4:6-7. Let it be God's comfort for each of us.

I'm trying to get used to what its being like as a single child.gosh, it's so hard, because the house seems so much quieter. I only have a fish that I can talk to and bully. rahh :( I really really really miss my sis so so much. 

"dear God, please send your guardian angels to protect and take care of my sister."
 


Current Location: my room
Current Music: Broken Strings by James Morrison
Current Mood: cold

1/10/09 11:03 pm - dancing in the moonlight



just two more days,
just one empty room.
just five more days,
just two empty rooms.

i don't like the thought of counting down the number of days left, till i'm the only one left in this house.


NEWS OF THE WEEK:

i can hardly jot down what happen this entire week, all i know that is was the fastest week of the year! with all the birthdays in just a week, mugging for bio and chem tests this week and catching up with friends and doing last minute homework.

oh! i'm really happy with my pet fish, SPASM. it seriously spasms when you give it food and its super weird actually. not only does it use its fins to crawl on the tank, it has weird patterns on its body like polka dots and v-shape lines, it has whiskers?, it can do freaking ROLL OVERS? i thought only dogs can do that, and it can sort of stands up in the water, oh and a good thing, i think it eats its shit, cause the tank is damn clean! IS IT A FISH? 0.o my challenge, is that it will still be surviving for 6 months when my sis comes back! and i pray it will continue to survive for a decade! :)

right now, it shall be the replacement of my sis while she abandons me in singapore for denmark. well! it can be a friend and something that calms me down just looking at it :D


ANOTHER THING! i came up with another song on my own! it's called "Shall I"

Verse:

Shall I Forget November?

Fall back in my December slumber.

Shall I wait for an answer?

Give me a signal for tonight.

 

Shall I play truth or dare?

Admit to what I fear to declare.

Shall I rewind those memories?

Confess I was born to love you then.

 

Pre-chorus:

But I’m stuck in my own tracks,

Paralyzed by your smile,

Caught by the taste of your kiss.

Trying to create my utopia of us,

Hoping I could tell you this.

 

Chorus:

Let’s count from seconds to hours

Till time could standstill forever

And bleed its absence away

Let’s race from meters to miles

Till I could catch your breath

And surrender to this love


Current Music: You Alone by Echoing Angels

1/4/09 11:21 pm - freedom = cause



 

freedom is not something given freely,
it comes with a cause...





just like how God died for us to free us from our sins
it came with a cause, where He had to be nailed to the cross.

Current Music: Til I See You by Hillsongs
Current Mood: contemplative

12/30/08 09:45 pm - epilogue?




this shall be my last post for the year 2008. kinda sad that it passed super fast, and even more nervous that my A's will be in less than 300 days time. but whatever it is, I'm just thankful for this amazing year. Although it seemed the shortest year in my entire life, but yet one of the most impactful years that I ever had. one vital reason could probably be because of the breakthrough that God put me through and lead me through.

simply put, I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE THIS YEAR IS ENDING! =(
so move on rachel!

I decided that my resolution for 2009 is just one word:

FOCUS
focus to me is focusing on God, getting root into His word and attending cell group more regularly, and focus on studying for A'levels.
Pray that I will survive next year!the year of horrors, fears and anxieties yet the last year that ends my chapter to my jc life. pretty scary hurr. But life has to move on, it's just part and parcel.I've just gotta accept it and take it easy :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! :) WELCOME 2009!

Current Music: Superhuman by Chris Brown
Current Mood: contemplative

12/24/08 12:58 am - walking on tight rope



Half Alive


It's four AM, I'm waking up to your perfume
Don't get up, I'll get through on my own
I don't know if I'm home
Or if I lost the way into your room
I'm spiraling into my doom
I'm feeling half alive but I know one day
You and I will be free,

To live and die by our own rules,
Free..
Despite the fact that men are fools.

I'm almost alive, and I need you to try
And save me.
It's okay that we're dying,
But I need to survive tonight, tonight.

Well excuse me while I get killed softly,
Heart slows down and I can hardly tell you I'm okay
At least 'til yesterday,
You know you got me off my highest guard,
Believe me when I say it's hard.
We'll get through this tonight
And I know one day you and I will be free

Current Music: Someday we'll know by New Radicals
Current Mood: curious

12/21/08 02:19 pm - climbing the walls again



take a pause




take a look at the breathtaking view from on top



take the hope that hidden beneath the clouds


take a chance

for the sky holds
it all.
Current Music: Climbing the Walls by Backstreet boys
Current Mood: blank

12/9/08 12:00 am - dum dum de dum



holidays are the rocking! :D and i can't wait for church camp! which is in less than 2 days time. garrhh there's so much homework to do, so I'm glad niah's coming over tmr and hopefully we can complete horrible chem homework! but man i think i may have a sty in my eye, so saniah if my eye looks bongkak tmr, you will probably laugh at me.esepcially since i laughed at your eye last time, this is my retribution! xD HAHA aww man, no cam whoring for a while. :(

i'm so going for the less than 10 bucks medicure and pedicure at fareast plaza. OH! and i dunno why but i just keep on bumping into the least expected people. singapore is really a small world.

Two Interesting facts that i learnt about myself today:

1) I can't sing when i'm bathing. Why? because my toilet window is super near the lifts, so imagine an innocent old man walking out of the lift and suddenly he hears a voice singing "hit me baby one more time",coming out of no where, he's probably gonna think there's a ghost in Springdale. SO YEAH, RACHEL SHALL RESIST THIS TEMPTATION TO SING IN THE TOILET

2) I'm seriously an auntie! I used to not believe that, but after today with all the rushing into mrt trains trying to hog for seats. I swear that I will be one of the irritating aunties you may bump into on the mrt or bus one day, cause I don't give a damn unless you are older than me or pregnant. so I'm sorry people out there, please me nice to this kind auntie here, because she doesn't mean anything, it's just in her nature to be the typical "kiasu" singaporean auntie.



after what is said and heard, my impression has changed so i shall just forget it and move on
Current Music: Disturbia by Rihanna
Current Mood: awake

12/4/08 12:16 am - We will live in the light of the sun again

GET SHOCKED! YOUR ON CANDID CAMERA! =D

i'm really glad things are starting to fall into place. there are still fuzzy things in my mind...
those actions,i can't comprehend
but you drew me a utopia for me to live in
Time, could you standstill just for that very special moment?





So close yet so far
But in my heart you're here with me
You did not leave
You just went to live in eternity
 

Current Music: Stop and Stare by One Republic
Current Mood: peaceful

12/1/08 12:44 am - waking up to a new dawn

intially i wanted to blog yesterday about how i felt it was so hard learning the hard way, but after today, it's no longer gonna be a disappointed post nor a sad post, but a post to rejoice. after the sister's movie date and all, me and my sis headed to starbucks to have a long chat over caramel frappucino.

Being my sis, she knew me inside out, and I give props to that. I shared with her about the inner struggles I had in this christian walk that throughout these years, I have been trying to embrace, to understand. She pointed me back to Jacob, on how despite being the bill gates during his time, God ripped everything off him, his wealth, family, power and dignity. But yet, he did not just give up but said " blessed be your name". That's the kind of rejoice spirit that I want to have.Rejoicing in my struggles. It's not just being broken in church, but it all starts being broken in our family. I finally understood that.

Every human is imperfect, but in God's eyes, we are made perfect. Perfect in our mistakes, perfect in our weaknesses. I still know that I struggle with certain things, but I'm willing to take that step of faith to trust in God by letting go of everything that is holding me back. It's hard, but like what the pastor shared yesterday, hard is better. For i know God will not see me pass these struggles but through these struggles.

I just find it hard to know that my sis will be leaving in 1 months time. although it's 6 months, but after she's gone, it would feel as if a part of me is missing. I really hope that time will pass really slowly, so I can spend more time with her.I just dont know how I can survive without that moral support and advice she freely gives, and the love and care that she showered upon me as a sister. Someone who loves me for my imperfections, someone who puts anyone before herself, someone that I will never trade the world for, because she's the bestest sis that God has blessed me with.

rahh, I'm feeling all sad again. But whatever it is, Blessed be the name of the Lord!
Current Music: Captivated by hillsongs
Current Mood: contemplative

11/23/08 12:03 am - lace up your shoes,eh oh eh ohh!



just came back from yltc not long ago!! I swear although it was the most physical camp i ever been to, but yet the best camp i ever went for. the most memorable moment was waking up at 3am in the morning to run 10km. Imagine being half asleep and running your ass off, but my group really bonded during that time, with all our singing of "stand by me" and chanting of "sexy hips!tight ass!10 abs! 12 packs!" OH! and we modify the check yes juliet song to:

"Lace up your shoes
Eh Oh Eh Ohhh
Here's how we do:

Run, group 5, run
Don't ever look back.
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance.
Don't sell your heart.
Don't say we're not meant to be.
Run, group 5, run.
Forever will be
You and me."

and with all that motivation, we completed the race of horror =) although we didn't came in first, but we finished together as winners! There were many other great moments like capsizing in the kayak and trying to get on it for 5 times!watching hui yong and daniel wash dishes while squatting like two gay aunties (SUPER FUNNY!),not bathing for the last night and brushing teeth at night for 4 nights in a row (AMANDA IS MY COMPANION!), building a raft that managed to carry all of us (It was seriously kiam chai compared to the other groups), capsizing in a dragonboat, making a igloo-looking bombshelter for me and wenlin with an airpipe,totally drenched in the rain for land expedition and the list goes on. Really sad it's over, but oomph is forever! HAHA SO CHEESY x)

now, i am sunburnt, lots of bites and blisters and i lost my voice =( plus i'm typing this while hipcupping and syahir told me in order to stop hipcupping, i should slap myself. Thanks for the GREAT ADVICE. YEAH RIGHT!yay! can't wait for tmr! :) so many things on: dancing,meeting up with old mg friends and oomph's steamboat renuion! HOHO :D it's like pig out tmr!

PEACE OUT!!
Current Music: forever by chris brown
Current Mood: cheerful

11/16/08 11:31 pm - open those skies of mercy



I realised I haven't blog about my life the past few weeks. life's just so happening, along with its ebbs and flows. I don't really like those days where I would just think so much, but neither can I help it. When life is just right in front of you, there's nothing much you can do but deal with it. But yet again,I have gain new experiences be it first experiences and met new people. I can't comprehend how some years passed really slow, but this year was an exception. Next Year? it's probably a bullet train.

After yesterday's message, I told myself that I don't want to go through life's motion again.Yet again, I'm frustrated about my faith in God. Not that I don't believe in Him anymore, but frustrated at how last time I used to be so passionate, so on fire for Him. but now, I just can't bring myself to be touched/to cry at the feet of the cross. Sometimes I asked myself is there something wrong with my own faith?Maybe I'm just a lukewarm christian? I dunno =( garh. I really hope that during yltc, God will somehow speak to me, and do a work in my heart. I need a breakthrough.

anws, will see.

quote of the day:
"be nice to nerds. you never know if you are going to work for one"
HAHA

Current Music: Avril's wonderful voice (OMG)
Current Mood: dorky

11/5/08 06:27 pm - just waiting


sometimes we missed the train, but this time i'm catching any opportunity ahead


OBAMA was won people! :)) America has made a good decision
anws i'm gonna start working for the first time! xP pretty scared, but yeah luckily I've got mag! :) Guess I wanna try something new, oh man it's gonna be a busy holiday!
 

Current Music: Closer by Ne-yo
Current Mood: cheerful

11/4/08 10:12 pm - sorority




Sorority =) the best is yet to be


Current Music: Agnus Dei by Passion
Current Mood: busy

10/27/08 11:45 pm - can i have this dance



holidays are the bestest things yos! :)) the week was great with dance practices with "The Sorority"! today had a nice nice nice nice good meal at Thai Express,plus the good service! I had my pineapple rice without sotong. stupid liyana keeps on laughing at me when she hears i'm allergic to sotong. I'm sure there's ppl out there with the same weird allergy. OHHH! erika is allergic to chocolate, poor thing =(

carolyn's surprise birthday party was not bad! :D was sort of successful, cause cheryl accidentally went to message carolyn "sorry I couldn't come for your surprise birthday party" HAHAHA before she came home! apparently I heard that for joseph's birthday surprise, Andre went to send Joseph a message if he signed on the birthday card. HAHAHA HILARIOUS!! anws getting back, carolyn got a shock of a her life with everyone hiding in her room and peter scaring her from behind the door after that. We tried to come up random games, and only gideon was only interested in the "wrinkle the potato chip on your face" game! so we started to throw nuts in the air and catch them, i'm pro at that! :D had pizza. I swear Peter is one weirdo, who started singing the "Enchanted" song to Syahir "I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss.." ON THE BUS! Listened to Erika's phillipines version of "This is Me"!

Saturday service was good :D i'm going church campppp! Don't worry Priscy, your not alone! :D Sunday was good lunch with mummy at subway! besides tuition, everything was pretty fun after that. went to catch "High School Musical 3" with davina and lakshmi! It was way nicer than the first and second i felt, like the music, dancing and props, the story plot was soso, but the rest was pretty good! :)) The troy replacement guy is really hilarious! xD

PLUS I'm happy! daniel just send me the whole soundtrack!!!!!!!!! I shall keep on listening to it, till I get sick of it. haha


Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.

Won't you promise me
We'll keep dancing wherever we go next

It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance
Can I have this dance

Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you threw it all

And you can't keep us apart
'Cause my heart is wherever you are
Current Music: Right Here,Right Now by HSM3
Current Mood: hopeful
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